VA giving strength to couples in crisis

Are you in a violent relationship?  Are you scared of your significant other?  Or is your significant other perhaps scared of you?

If so, VA has a program called Strength at Home that may be able to help you.

“Veterans appear to be experiencing higher rates of physical or verbal abuse in their relationships,” said James Haskell, a social worker and group therapist with the Baltimore VA’s Strength at Home Program.  “The military trains you to react quickly to a threatening situation when you’re in combat.  But in a relationship, reacting quickly isn’t always the best option.”

Anger in a Bottle

Haskell said Veterans can sometimes have a hard time counting to 10 before saying or doing something they’ll regret later.

“Stigma associated with this problem prevents many men from coming forward and seeking help.”

“Chances are you have a short fuse because you’ve been bottling up all your emotions in an effort to maintain control,” he explained. “But then something triggers you —an argument with your spouse tends to be a major trigger— and so you experience a sudden and sometimes violent loss of control.  Our Strength at Home counselors teach you how to communicate more effectively, how to open up and share your feelings before they overwhelm you.”

Haskell said it can be difficult for men to admit they’ve engaged in any form of intimate partner violence, which is why Strength at Home group therapy sessions are so valuable.  “When they’re in a safe place, it becomes easier